I must reveal my newest math: The Idiocracy + Phone Devices = Dysfunctional Texting Idiocracy.
First, I want to express a few thoughts before I explain my equation. As folks may or may not know, I am no Luddite. I am a technology aficionado. I really do love portable computing devices, and that includes the use of text as a method of messaging. I use texting with friends because it can be a very convenient and useful tool. Most of my friends - but not all - are intelligent enough to understand the limitations of the tool. Text, in my world, is used as an instant-o-gram, a quickie message service, a "hello" tool, or even for winging fun and unusual sightings and/or comments every now and then. It’s a great way of staying in touch with the right thoughts or pictures, and at a time that is convenient for both the sender and receiver.
Most of my friends, however, understand that texting does not replace face time and real conversation. Texting negates eye contact, body language, and voice expression, which makes it far worse than the cell phone. Person-to-person contact, of course, is the ideal, even if it is extremely old-fashioned. A lot can be said about a conversation by looking at a person’s body language and eye contact. Where the phone loses that capacity, at least it offers the voice connection. With a phone call there is voice inflection allowing you to gauge the other person’s mood, sincerity, and tone. In comparison, texting is the wood outhouse of civilization and has become the building block of the Dysfunctional Idiocracy.
The misguided libertarians often get angry with me for criticizing that which deserves my wrath because they think that no free, independent act should ever be criticized. They confuse criticism with coercion. In knee jerk fashion, they mistake my cultural criticism of certain human actions for government laws that makes said acts illegal and therefore subject to criminal punishment. I don’t want to pass laws disallowing or punishing human folly; I just want the freedom to make fun of it all.
The members of the Dysfunctional Idiocracy have their cell phones stuck in their face 24/7. It doesn’t matter if they are on the elliptical at the gym, in the middle of dinner, in line at a retail store, in a meeting at work, or crossing busy, 4-lane road. Ask me how many times I have almost run over some nitwit crossing the road in front of me, looking down at his phone, while forgetting he is crossing a 4-lane, 45 mph road. It’s happened too many times to count. Furthermore, while driving, I always watch people driving around me and I see them, yes, texting, texting, texting.
The Dysfunctional Texting Idiocracy is expressed via the extreme use of texting that goes beyond basic Idiocracy behaviors. One of the most notable of all Texting Idiocracy behaviors is the notion that many relationships are now fully carried out via text messaging. Dates are arranged by text, and they are also broken by text under the assumption that the other person also has their muzzle buried in their phone and will therefore get the text timely. The meat of relationships is carried out by texting – long conversations in broken English are somehow endearing in the land of the Texting Idiocracy.
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